


Date me

by madsmeetsmisha



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Boys In Love, Jealousy, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Rich Arthur, Sorcerers, Stupid Arthur, Stupid Merlin, sorcerer merlin, trapped in own body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-01-22 21:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18535627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madsmeetsmisha/pseuds/madsmeetsmisha
Summary: Merlin's mother Hunith tries to set him up for dates with other sorcerers. Arthur thinks it is hilarious. But not for long...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It might seem a bit strange to write a story in spring that is set for Christmas, but I hope you will forgive me.  
> Someone on Tumblr asked me to write something for the Merlin fandom, so here we go...  
> I really hope you like my little story!
> 
> <3 <3 <3 Thank you @tobilistle for beta-reading! You are the best! <3 <3 <3

 

“Come on Merlin. Give it a try. Do it for me. You know how happy it would make me and your uncle if you married one of us. A nice sorceress.” Hunith looked at her son pleadingly.

Oh, God! Someday he'd have to tell her he wasn't into women. But not today. It was Christmas, and he didn't want to spoil his own mood. Hunit had already gone through so much trouble with the decorations and the food. Even though Christmas didn't mean anything to her. The most important winter festival for sorcerers was the winter solstice. They always celebrated it on the 21st December with a huge campfire where all the sorcerers from the area met. Merlin loved it. They all used their magic to let the fire touch the sky. It was spectacular.  However, he had to confess that he liked human traditions as much as he liked druid festivals. But Christmas was his favourite.

He loved the smell of oranges and cinnamon, all the lights and the thought of giving presents to those he loved. Slowly he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Mom!”

“Think of it as my Christmas present. Or as a reward for all the work, I've put into creating a happy Christmas for you.” She tried to convince him.

“Mom, you know your gift is already under the tree. And, of course, I'm grateful for all the effort you put in this. You even baked cinnamon cookies and decorated the house.” Merlin was really grateful, but despite all the energy she had put into it, it didn't feel real. He knew that the human feast meant nothing to her. But of course, it was nice to have dinner with her and Uncle Gaius. It would also have been lonely in his and Arthur’s apartment since Arthur always celebrated Christmas with his family.

“Yes, the cookies are definitely the best thing about this party, the cookies and the eggnog,” Gaius stated and took a sip of the sticky yellow liquid.

“Please Merlin, Freya is a good girl. I'm sure you'll like her." Hunith begged.

“You even have plans as to who you want to set me up with? Oh, my God!" Merlin couldn't believe it. He wouldn't be surprised if the wedding date had already been set.

“One date, Merlin. Just one. Then I'll leave you alone. I promise," his mother tried to persuade him.

“One date, then you'll never try to set me up again? You don't believe that yourself, mom, do you?” How stupid did she think he was? Merlin knew she would never give up. But the prospect that he would have some rest afterwards, at least for a while, was tempting.

How bad could it be to have dinner with a girl for one night? If his mother cared so much about it.

“I won't have to, because I'm sure you'll fall in love with her right away. She's very pretty and smart, and above all, she's a sorceress.” Merlin did not know whether he should be amused or disappointed about Hunith's confidence. How could it be that his mother didn't know him at all? He never showed any interest in girls. Never! She must have noticed that. Already at a very young age, he had noticed that he felt attracted to boys. Especially to one boy. His best friend, Arthur Pendragon.

Even though he knew this would never go anywhere. Arthur was the straightest man Merlin knew. He was absurdly handsome, and he knew it all too well. Besides, he had more money than was good for him and eventually he would inherit his father's whole empire. For a long time, Arthur had been a real ladies man. There was no evening when they went out without him ending up in bed with some girl.

Merlin had learned to live with it. But then Gwen came along and for the first time, he became aware that one day Arthur would have a wife and children. That Merlin would always be just a friend. Maybe his best friend, but just a buddy. That's all. And that realization hurt incredibly. It took him a long time to recover to the point where he could bear seeing Arthur and Gwen together. Arthur was in love. So very much in love. And Merlin had to watch it. Knowing Arthur was happy had to be enough for him. As hard as it was. For three long years, Arthur and Gwen were a couple and Merlin suffered silently. But then, completely out of the blue, it was suddenly over. The couple broke up and Merlin still didn't know why. All Arthur ever told him was that their time together was over. He didn't get any more explanations.

A short time after their breakup Gwen got together with Lance and Merlin was still confused at how easy Arthur handled it. Merlin expected Arthur to go back to bringing home one girl after the other, but that wasn't the case. It was strange. Merlin got used to having Arthur for himself way too quickly. Knowing how bad it would get when Arthur resumed his original habits or would be in a relationship again.

“How about tomorrow night?" Hunith asked.

“Tomorrow is Boxing day. Who wants to go on a date on Boxing day?” Merlin added for consideration.

“A sorceress would,” Hunit answered dryly.

“I’m always invited to dinner at the Pendragons residence on Boxing Day. You know that, mom.”  He explained, knowing that she would start to complain about his friendship with Arthur.

And she didn't disappoint.

“Why do you always have to be with this boy, Merlin. I could understand why you were friends with him when you were kids. After all, there weren't that many sorcerers in the neighbourhood. But now you're an adult. You don't need the boy anymore. I don't think it's healthy for you to focus on him like that. You're way too close. And he is human. He will start a family someday and forget about you. Humans aren’t very loyal.”  She said. Merlin knew she was alluding to his father. A man who had first got her pregnant and then just left without a word. But his relationship with Arthur was something completely different. They were just friends. Although she was right about one thing. It was not healthy to focus so much on Arthur. Sooner or later, it'll just cause his heart to break again. Maybe he should try to move on, maybe he should really go on dates or even get more involved with other people. Maybe it was his biggest mistake to hold on to something that didn't exist, that never would be real. Maybe now was the time to change his life.

Merlin took a deep breath and looked at his mother finally ready to tell her the truth.

“Mom, I have to tell you something.”

  



	2. Chapter 2

Merlin checked himself in the mirror, rotating to have a better view. He had chosen his tightest black jeans and a plain white dress shirt. Now, for the hundredth time, he wondered if he was too overdressed. Or should he only wear a t-shirt?

Damn it! It has really been too long since he had his last date. It was time to change that. Before he could go insane, he heard Arthur opening the front door with his key. Like every year, his friend had stayed at home during the Christmas holidays.

So Merlin didn't have a chance to tell him about the date. Even though they saw each other on Boxing Day. A Christmas dinner at the Pendragons was not the right environment for such conversations.

"Merlin, are you at home?" Arthur called through the apartment.

After a last reassuring look into the mirror, Merlin left his room to welcome Arthur.

"Holy shit! Did you dress up for me like that?" Arthur asked while he was gazing at Merlin uninhibitedly from head to toe.

Merlin blushed under his scrutinizing gaze. Did Arthur like his appearance? He really had to stop seeing signs in everything Arthur did. It was just an observation from his friend no compliment. But it was so hard not to feel flattered by the appreciative look of his friend. Without waiting for his answer, Arthur went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Then he came back into the living room and let himself fall on the couch with a deep sigh.

"Oh, God. The last few days have been exhausting. I'm so glad it's over. At least for one year." Arthur groaned.

He looked tired. Merlin would have preferred to cancel the date and offer Arthur to watch a movie together.

"But you haven't told me yet why you're so dolled up, Merlin." Arthur said a slight wrinkle on his forehead.

"I have a date." Merlin avoided looking at Arthur.

Why did he feel guilty? He knew Arthur couldn't care less.

"A date!" Merlin tried not to be hurt about the surprise in Arthur's voice.

Wow! He really should go out more.

"Yes, my mother more or less forced me to go on a date." Merlin explained calmer than he felt.

All of a sudden, Arthur burst out in laughter. Damn him. Was the idea that he had a date really that ridiculous? Merlin felt that he was getting angry. It was really time to get over his childish crush on his best friend.

"Oh my God Merlin. She really talked you into dating. I don't believe it." He chuckled.

"You know what she's like. Once she sets something on her mind, it's hard to resist." Merlin defended himself.

Arthur had tears of laughter in his eyes by now.

Oh fuck him! Fuck Arthur Pendragon!

"I can see it right in front of me. How you adjust her chair in the restaurant and she immediately falls in love with your ridiculously big ears and your dopey smile. The poor girl." Arthur giggled while he wiped the tears from his eyes.

Merlin looked at his friend with an annoyed look on his face.

"Ridiculously big ears! Thank you for the compliment."

Even though he knew Arthur was joking, it hurt to hear the other man making fun of his looks. Angrily, he threw a pillow at his treacherous friend. Arthur was still laughing so hard, he almost couldn't defend himself.

"You're going to break the poor girl's heart. And Hunith will find someone else. You know she's not gonna let up that easy. "Arthur pointed out.

"Maybe she won't have to set me up with someone else." Merlin murmured and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Oh come on Merlin. We both know you are gay. The girl has no chance at all." Arthur states amusement written all over his face.

"Who says I am going on a date with a girl?" Merlin asked.

Arthur's laughter stopped immediately. Confusion was showing in his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"My mother set me up with a sorcerer after I told her I was gay," Merlin explained satisfied that Arthur at least stopped laughing.

"You. . . what? She. . . . What the fuck are you telling me? You told Hunith you were gay and she wasn't mad at you?" Now Merlin almost had to laugh.

The surprise and shock in Arthur'seyes were almost grotesque.

"At first she wanted to set me up with a sorceress and I thought one evening with the girl wouldn't kill me. But then I realized that Hunith would never stop finding new girls for me and I decided to tell her the truth. I have to admit that I was also surprised by her reaction. I thought this whole dating thing was about getting grandchildren. But as it turned out it wasn't. She only wants to see me happy." Merlin revealed.

"What did she say?" Arthur asked.

"She said something like: Oh Merlin, you silly boy. Why didn't you tell me? Then Freya's hardly gonna be the right person. But Martha's son Mordred is gay too. So how about you date him? And then she immediately grabbed her cell phone and arranged the date. Weird. I know." Merlin shrugged his shoulders.

Arthur was sitting on the other end of the couch like he was frozen. The pillow he wanted to throw at Merlin was still in his hands while he just stared at Merlin.

"She doesn't mind that you like men? And what about your uncle?" Thoughtfully, Arthur looked at him.

"No. Neither of them cares. They just seem to care that it's a sorcerer."

Merlin realized that Arthur was turning a bit pale. His lips were pressed together.

"Yes, of course." was all he said.

Something hard flickered behind his eyes but Merlin could not describe what it was. Merlin didn't like the twist the conversation had taken. Suddenly the mood had changed. Even though Merlin was angry before that Arthur had made fun of him, he didn't like this look on his best friends face either.

"Although probably my mother will still have to arrange a hundred dates for me. You know, with my ridiculously big ears and my dopey smile it will get hard to find someone. Don't you think?" Merlin tried to cheer up the mood again.

But Arthur looked at him almost tortured.

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. No halfway decent gay man would let someone like you down." Merlin looked at his best friend in surprise.

He didn't know what to say. That unfortunately not every man was gay? Especially not the one man that mattered? But of course, he couldn't say that out loud. Arthur cleared his throat.

"When's the date?" he wanted to know.

"Mordred must be here any minute." Arthur nodded.

"And where are you-- no, forget it. I think I know where you're going. 'The Black Cat' Am I right?"

"Yes," Arthur knew that he wanted to go there for a long time.

"Then today a long-cherished wish of yours will come true. Congratulations. Even if the date doesn't work out, you'll at least get a visit to this famous sorcerer restaurant."

Why did Arthur's' voice sound so sad? Couldn't he just be happy for him? Merlin had really been dreaming about going out for dinner to the restaurant for a long time. But first of all, it wasn't easy to reserve a table there. He didn't know how Mordred managed to get a reservation. And secondly, most of his friends were human and humans weren't allowed at the 'Black Cat'. Not because sorcerers didn't want them there, but simply because it was too dangerous. Because everything there was enchanted. It was like an adventure land where you could only survive with magic.

Merlin was really excited. At that moment, the doorbell rang. Merlin's heart began to pound furiously in his chest.

Oh, Heavens! What if Mordred didn't like him or didn't like his looks or vice versa? Arthur seemed to feel his excitement. Soothingly, he patted a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey. It's gonna be okay. I'm sure you'll have a good time tonight. And who knows, maybe today you'll meet the love of your life." He tried to soothe him.

The love of his life? He'd already met them in seventh grade!

"Have fun, buddy!"

Buddy! How Merlin hated that word. Especially from Arthur's mouth!

"Yes, I'll try. See you later, Arthur."

Merlin quickly slipped into his shoes and coat and left their shared apartment


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe so many people are reading this little fic. You are awesome guys. Thank you for all of your comments and kudos.

Mordred wasn't what Merlin had imagined. From the few things, Hunith told him he had expected an older self-confident, almost arrogant man. But Mordred was his age or even younger, had soft blue eyes and seemed relatively shy. Merlin relaxed as soon as he saw him. And after the first sentence from the mouth of the young sorcerer, he decided that he liked him.

"Hello. You must be Merlin. I'm Mordred. This is super-embarrassing, to be honest. I hate blind dates. Who'd let someone else pick their date? Only desperate people or complete failures. You don't look like one or the other, though. So I'm either lucky or. . . or you're a psychopath."

Merlin had to laugh. 

"Nice to meet you, too, Mordred." He welcomed the other man smiling. Merlin knew immediately that they would get along well.

Mordred showed him the way to his car and opened the passenger door for him. A gentleman! Nice!

"However, I am looking forward to the "Black Cat". I always wanted to go there and when your mother promised she could reserve a table in the restaurant, I couldn't say no. Even at the risk of you really being a psychopath or a bore. I don't know what would be worse." Mordred said and winked at him.

Merlin had to laugh. He liked the dry humour of the other man.

"Yeah, I feel the same way. Well, I don't mean the part where I don't care if you're a psychopath or a bore. I don't think these two things are equal. But I was looking forward to the 'Black Cat' as well. I've always wanted to go there. A date there is definitely on my bucket list." Merlin answered.

The bright smile the young wizard sent him before he started the engine showed Merlin that the affection was obviously mutual.

Mordred drove them to the popular restaurant. As they stood in front of the entrance, Merlin needed a few seconds. He would really visit the most famous sorcerer restaurant in a few seconds. It seemed like a dream. A good dream, though. From the outside, it was an ordinary building but from the inside, the interior revealed a completely new world.

The walls were decorated with Gothic lancet arch windows with coloured bulls-eyes. When Merlin looked through them, he saw a wild Scottish landscape. The remaining walls and the ceiling were decorated with branches and roots that seemed to grow constantly. Without really taking up more space, though. The entire interior was made of stone or wood. On the seats lay furs, which had mouths with considerable gear teeth in one place.

You had to use magic to keep them from biting. Merlin thought it was a charming idea. But the most atmospheric were the thousands of candles, which simply floated in the air and bathed the room in a warm flickering light.

One look at his date was enough to see that the young magician was just as impressed as he was. Yes, Merlin thought, even if the date shouldn't turn into something more, the visit to the 'Black Cat' was definitely worth it.

A little will-o'-the-wisp appeared in front of them and then slowly drifted into a corner of the room to a free table. Mordred and Merlin followed the light and sat down at their place, not without stopping the fur-trimmed chairs from biting with their magic first. A short time later a sorceress came to take the order. The sorcerer restaurant exceeded his wildest expectations. The interior was infinitely mysterious, the food was excellent and the conversation with Mordred was immensely pleasing.

So it was not a surprise that they completely overlooked the time and were astounded that it was already 10pm when they ordered the dessert. While he looked at his phone to check the time, he noticed that Gwen had been trying to reach him. She had left three messages. What could she possibly want? However, Merlin decided to put his phone back in his pocket. He would listen to the news later. To use a technical device in this environment seemed almost blasphemous to him.

When he was outside his front door again after midnight and Mordred kissed him goodbye, he had already forgotten Gwen's messages. In a good mood and for the first time in eternity without the familiar knot in his chest, he walked upstairs to his apartment.

Maybe he'd be able to get over Arthur. Mordred was definitely an interesting man and even if he hadn't felt anything at all when they kissed, that could still change. He could learn to be attracted to Mordred. After all, the most important thing for a relationship to work was that you liked each other, right? And he liked Mordred. How could he not? The young magician was witty, sensitive and modest. He was the absolute opposite of Arthur, on the inside and on the outside. Where Arthur's blonde hair sometimes gave him an nearly a golden sheen, Mordred had brown curls, where Arthur's blue eyes often seemed to almost bore into his soul, the young sorcerer's eyes were assuring, like an anchor. While Arthur always gave the impression that every room he entered belonged to him, Mordred would modestly find his place there without attracting much attention. All in all: Mordred was so refreshingly different from Arthur, he was just perfect.

With a warm, hopeful feeling in his stomach, he entered the apartment. The scent of alcohol hit him immediately. It smelled like a packet store. Had Arthur accidentally dropped the bottle of whiskey? Or did he have a visitor? An ugly lump formed in his stomach. What if Arthur started bringing home one-night-stands again? But that's none of his business. He just was on a date himself. Even though he wasn't the type for meaningless sex himself, he had no right to be a judge.

Merlin crept quietly into the living room. And there was Arthur, lying on the sofa. The TV was still on, a nearly empty whiskey bottle was on the small table.

Huh? Had Arthur been drinking alone? That never happened before.

Merlin wondered what could have caused Arthur to get drunk. Was it the exhaustion because of the Christmas holidays? All of a sudden, Merlin remembered Gwen's calls. Oh, God! How could he be so stupid! Merlin had always wondered why Arthur took the breakup so easily. Now he was sure it was just a show. And tonight when even Merlin was on a date, Arthur realized how much he missed Gwen. Poor Arthur. And he wasn't there to comfort him! What a bad friend he had been. Damn it!

With a sigh, Merlin cleared the bottle and the glass into the kitchen and fetched a blanket to cover Arthur. Then he put a bottle of water on the table and put the package of pain killers next to it. Then he turned off the TV and went to the bathroom to get himself ready for the night.

Tomorrow morning he would call Gwen to see what had happened.

********   
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Merlin was determined to be a better friend from now on. Especially lately, his focus has been too much on his own feelings for the other man. That had to change now. Maybe it would be easier now that he dated Mordred. The young sorcerer had texted him last night and even though Merlin still didn't feel butterflies swirl around in his stomach, the attention was good. Maybe at some point, Merlin would manage to love Mordred. And maybe someday it wouldn't hurt anymore to think about Arthur. But now he knew it was his duty as Arthur's best friend to help him get over Gwen. Even though he had to encourage his best friend to date again. The thought of it almost caused Merlin nausea, so he quickly repressed it. But he'd have to learn how to handle it. He couldn't pine after Arthur all his life.

Quickly he jumped out of bed and went into the bathroom. After an extensive shower, he went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. He intended to spoil Arthur. And a hangover breakfast with scrambled eggs, coffee and a large glass of orange juice would be the beginning.

"Good morning. Are you making breakfast?" Merlin flinched. He hadn't even noticed that Arthur had entered the kitchen. The other man looked pretty beat up. He was pale, his golden hair standing in all directions and Merlin was sure that his headache was almost killing him. Poor Arthur!

"Good morning. Did you find the headache pills I put on the table?" Merlin wanted to know.

"Yeah, thanks, man. I owe you. You even put a blanket over me last night. Do I have enough time for a shower before breakfast is ready?" Arthur asked. 

"Sure. It'll be a few more minutes. But don't take too long or everything will get cold. It would be a shame." Merlin warned him.

"All right, I'll hurry. Although I can't promise I'll be able to eat anything. My stomach still resents all the whiskey I drank yesterday."

Merlin avoided asking why he was drinking. He knew anyway. And he was sure his friend wouldn't want to talk about it. It wasn't exactly one of Arthur's strengths to talk about feelings.

So he didn't say anything and drew his attention back to preparing breakfast. He cut the ham and added it to the eggs in the pan.

After a few moments, he heard the shower and tried not to think that Arthur had to be completely naked by now. Fuck! How could he ever manage to get over Arthur if he wasn’t even able to shut down his mind? He was so screwed.

He vigorously shook his head to scare away the images that crept into his head uninvited. This wasn't about his desires! This was about helping Arthur, for fuck's sake!

Ten minutes later he had set the table, filled the cups with coffee and filled the plates with scrambled eggs. Arthur arrived just in time. His hair was still wet and he was just about to pull his t-shirt over his head.

'This isn't about your wishes! Arthur's your buddy, nothing more. Pull yourself together` Merlin tried to convince himself, repeating the words  like a mantra in his head. But frankly, it didn't help much. His mouth suddenly became very dry as he caught a glimpse of Arthur's bare chest. Quickly he sat down at the table and took a sip of the coffee. 

"You're just in time." He stated without looking at Arthur directly.

Arthur sat down.

"I guess your date yesterday went well and that's why you're so motivated to make us such an amazing breakfast. I can't remember the last time we had more than just Fruit Loops with milk." Arthur wondered and took his fork.

"Yeah, the date went well. Very well, in fact. Mordred and I got along quickly. The evening was very nice." Nice? Jesus!

"The 'Black Cat' was stunning. It was even better than I had imagined. Unbelievable how much attention was paid to details. It's a shame I can never show you."

"Well, I'm just a man and not a sorcerer."  Arthur shrugged his shoulders and poked his fork around in his scrambled eggs.

"Then you'll see him again?" The blonde asked quietly, his attention still focused on the eggs.

"Yes, I think so. Mordred texted me last night and we arranged to meet next weekend. As I said, he's nice." Merlin explained.

"I see."  Arthur pressed his lips together. Why didn't Merlin get rid of the feeling that Arthur didn't like the idea of him meeting someone else? But of course, this was nonsense. What could Arthur possibly have against him dating someone? Unless? Unless he was afraid that Merlin wouldn't have enough time for him anymore and of course he needed his best friend more urgently than usual at the moment. Yeah! This had to be the explanation. He had to reassure his best friend.  Of course, there would always be enough time for him.

"Arthur, I know you're not used to the fact that I am seeing anyone. But believe me, I won't let you down now. Nothing's gonna change. I'll always be there for you."

Merlin assured him.

Arthur looked at him in astonishment.

"Come on, Arthur, I'm your best friend. You can tell me the truth. You never told me exactly why you and Gwen weren't together anymore, but I know it's not easy for you. Especially since she was so quick to find someone new. It must hurt to see them together."

Arthur's eyes grew wide. Did Arthur really think he could hide his feelings from Merlin? Well, for a long time Merlin had really lived under the illusion that his friend didn't mind the breakup. But after last night, he knew better.

"Merlin, I..."

At that moment, Merlin's phone was vibrating. Gwen. Oh, fuck! He had completely forgotten to call her back.

Since he didn't want to fan the flames Merlin grabbed his phone to leave the kitchen.

"I'll be right back, but I think I'd better take that call." He apologized.

"Is it Hunith?" Arthur wanted to know.

Merlin nodded, even if it was a lie and went to his room.

"Hey, Gwen!" he greeted her.

"Finally! Where have you been? I've tried calling you a hundred times!" Her voice sounded angry.

"I know. I was on a date and when I got home I found Arthur dead drunk on the couch. I'm sorry. I forgot to call you back." Merlin apologized.

"You were on a date? Oh, Merlin. That explains a lot." Gwen groaned.

Huh? Merlin had the feeling that he had missed an important part of their conversation. What was that supposed to mean?

"What are you talking about?"

“Arthur's breakdown yesterday. He called me a few times. I couldn't understand much but something seemed to bother him. Lance's parents are visiting right now. That's why I couldn't leave. But I was worried. So I wanted you to look after Arthur." She explained

"And in the end I did. Without calling back. He was asleep on the couch when I got home.  Gwen, listen. It's nice that you're doing so well with Lance, but I think Arthur's not over you yet and that's the reason why he drank too much yesterday. It was only a matter of time before his feelings came to the surface."

Merlin heard her gasp for air and then. . . she laughed. She laughed so hard, she even had a hard time to breathe.

What the hell was this about?

"Oh my God! Merlin! You can't be serious. Even you can't be so clueless." She said while she was still laughing.

"I don't understand..."

Why was he clueless?

"Jesus! You two are killing me. I never really wanted to interfere and Lance will rip my head off that I did, but I can't do this anymore. That's just too painful to watch. Merlin, why do you think Arthur and I broke up?" She asked in a calm voice.

"I.... I don't know. Arthur never said anything and I didn't want to push him."

Merlin wasn't sure if he even wanted to hear the reason for their breakup. Surely Arthur would have told him if he wanted him to know.

"Holy mother  give me strength. It was because of you, you fool!"

"What do you mean? Why was it because of me?" Merlin didn't understand. What did he have to do with it? He had always tried not to let it show that it hurt him when he saw the couple together, kissing or holding hands. 

"Hell, Merlin. Arthur is in love with you! But since he's as stupid as you are, he thinks he has no chance and has, therefore, tried to live his life. It took me an awkwardly long time to figure out why everything he ever wanted to talk about was including you. Merlin this, Merlin that. . . it was maddening. But at some point, I couldn't close my eyes to it anymore and I confronted him with my assumption. He confirmed it to me. Of course, we broke up afterwards."

Merlin couldn't breathe. Arthur could be in love with him? This wasn't possible, was it? He would have noticed.

"Merlin, are you still there?" Gwen asked.

"Yes, I am. . . Are you... Are you sure?"

"Merlin, I asked him. I told him if he was in love with you, we should end the relationship, and he said that would probably be best. What else do you need? Arthur is in love with you and the reason he was so drunk last night is you. You and your date!" Gwen cried through the phone.

"Oh God, Gwen. I need to talk to him!"

"Yes, I suppose you should, Merlin. Immediately. You two fools wasted enough time." She suggested.

Merlin nodded in agreement. At the moment he was too confused to be aware that she couldn't see it through the phone. Without saying goodbye, Merlin ended the conversation. He was far too bewildered and excited. Arthur could be in love with him? After all the years of pining his dream could come true?

His brain had a hard time to process all the new information.

As if in a trance, he went back into the kitchen.

Arthur, who had finished his breakfast in the meantime, was just about to rinse his plate.

Somehow Merlin was glad Arthur had his back to him. How did one even start such a conversation? Should he just come straight to the point? Nervously he sat down at the table to finish his breakfast. But he was so thrilled that he wasn't really hungry anymore. Jesus Christ, his heart was racing and his hands were shaking like crazy.

"And was she happy?"; Arthur asked without turning around.

"Happy? Who?"

"Hunith. She must be very pleased that the date worked out. After all, she always wanted you to be with a sorcerer." Arthur explained and turned around to face him. 

Merlin took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a brief time. He still wasn't sure Gwen was right, but he just had to know.

When Arthur saw the look on Merlin's face, he stopped.

"Is everything alright? You look like you saw a ghost." Worried, Arthur looked at him.

"I.. It wasn’t my mom. I… It was Gwen. She. . . she was worried about you, because you called her last night when you were drunk."

"Oh" was all Arthur said. Nervously, he was chewing on his lower lip.   
  
“And she told me the reason for your breakup.” Merlin went on. 

“Fuck!” Arthur groaned. 

"Is it true?" Merlin had to know.

Arthur didn't answer instantly. He looked at him helplessly.

"Merlin, I'm sorry. …I. “ Arthur's eyes were full of fear.

"Is it true? Did you break up because... .because you're in love with me?" Merlin's heart was pounding like crazy. What if it wasn't true? What if Arthur would laugh at him?

"Damn it. Merlin I never wanted you to know..." The answer was nothing more than a whisper.

"Oh, Jesus help me, Arthur. You're such an idiot. We both are!"

And even before Arthur had a chance to respond, Merlin had crossed the kitchen and taken Arthur's face in both hands before he clashed their lips together in a long overdue kiss.

****  
  



	5. Chapter 5

After all the time he had dreamed about it, it was almost unreal to feel Arthur's lips on his own. The first kiss passed like a breath between them but then Arthur gripped Merlin’s waist with firm hands to pull him even closer before he went in for another kiss. Merlin felt a thrill going all the way down to his toes, his legs had turned to jelly and his heart was beating so fast and loud he was surprised Arthur wasn’t able to hear it. 

But who could blame him for being nervous and excited and a little bit overwhelmed? Because this was Arthur he was kissing, his best friend, the boy he had a crush on since they were just teenagers, the man he was hopelessly in love with now and the most beautiful and important person in his life. Arthur, who Merlin thought was straight and would never want this. To know that Arthur felt the same way, to feel his lips moving against his own took his breath away.

Arthur let out a soft, breathy moan. He thumbed over Merlin’s cheekbone and pressed their foreheads together.

“Oh God! Merlin! You have no idea how long I wanted to kiss you like this.” Arthur groaned with a rough voice that made Merlin shiver.

_ Please let this be real _ , Merlin dreaded that he'd find out this was a dream"

His best friends eyes were bright and shining, his cheeks were flushed and his lips swollen red. He looked unbelievably handsome and so vulnerable and gorgeous and …fuck! Merlin wanted this so much!

“Me too. Arthur, I think I fell in love with you… I don’t know… when we were kids and you couldn’t stop laughing when I tripped over my own feet, but you helped me up anyway. And you told me that you would protect me from now on, even from my own clumsiness.” Merlin whispered.

“I think I was a bit of a drama queen back then,” Arthur replied and kisses him again, more passionate this time.

Even before Merlin could consider how far they should go, if it wasn't too early for more intimacy, he felt his phone vibrating again. Fuck!

Whoever just called him had picked a bad time.

Arthur seemed to have noticed the vibrating of his phone, too.

“Maybe it's Hunith this time. I think you'd better get that.” Arthur said in a hoarse voice.

It took Merlin's brain a few seconds to process what Arthur suggested.  His mind was busy with so many other things. Things which he had tried not to think about for so long.

“Merlin?”

Oh, yeah, he was supposed to answer the phone. Merlin fished it out of his pocket and noticed that it was Mordred.

“Shit.”

Damn it! He'd forgotten all about the other man. He had to explain the situation to him but not on the phone. Mordred was too nice to be dumped with a phone call.

“Who is it?” Arthur wanted to know.

“Mordred, my… the guy I went on a date with.”

Arthur took a deep breath and looked down.

“Listen, Merlin, I am just an ordinary man. I can’t take you out to fancy sorcerer places and Hunith will never approve, so…”

“Stop it! Stop even thinking about it. Yes, it was interesting to see the  Black Cat from the inside. I'll admit that. But nothing, believe me, nothing, is more important to me than you are.” Carefully Merlin took Arthur's face in both hands and forced him to look at him.

“Do you hear what I'm saying, Arthur? All I want is you. I am so terribly in love with you and nothing will change that.“

Arthur let out his breath and it nearly sounded like a sob.

“Merlin…” Merlin knew how hard it was for Arthur to speak about his feelings and therefore he didn’t expect his best friend to confess his undying love for him.

“You don’t have to say it ba…”

“I love you, Merlin. I love you so much. And it scares the shit out of me.” Arthur said seriously with a determined look on his face.

Although it was possible that Merlin shed a few tears, who could blame him? The love of his life had just confessed that he loved him back.

“I should tell Mordred the truth as soon as possible," Merlin declared.

"Yeah, you should probably call him back," Arthur mumbled.

"I think I'll meet him for lunch and explain everything to him. Mordred is one of the nicest people I know, I feel obliged to explain it to him face to face." Merlin explained.

“If you say so…” Arthur answered with a deep frown on his forehead.

Merlin could tell that Arthur was not happy about his meeting with Mordred, but somehow he owed it to the other sorcerer.

Tenderly he stroked through Arthur's hair and kissed him on the tip of his nose.

“It’s just lunch. Then I'll be yours. I promise.” Merlin tried to calm Arthur down.

The other man sighed.

“Okay, that sounds fair. Even though I don't like the idea of you seeing the other guy again. I'll survive you meeting him for one lunch.”

***

Mordred and Merlin met at one of the bistros downtown. It was very crowded, but apparently, one lunch table was always reserved for the other sorcerer. Since the waiter also greeted him friendly, Merlin assumed that Mordred always spent his lunch break here.

After ordering, Mordred put the menu aside and looked curiously at Merlin.

"So, what did you want to discuss so urgently with me that it didn't have time to wait until next weekend. Don't get me wrong, Merlin. I'm glad we're having lunch together. But I have to admit, I'm surprised."

Merlin felt like the biggest fool in the world.

"I... so I... Oh, God, this is harder than I thought... Listen Mordred. You know my mom arranged our date. She was worried because I practically never go on dates. There's a reason for that. I've been in love with my best friend for ages. Now I always thought he was straight and when my mother suggested the date with you, I was really determined to move on. But it turned out he feels the same way and so I have to stop seeing you. I feel like the biggest asshole in the world that I may have given you the wrong impression. Especially because I think you are very nice and I am sure it would have worked out between us under other circumstances. But... " Merlin tried to explain.

". . . but you love your best friend. I see." Mordred finished the sentence.

Thoughtfully, the other sorcerer looked at him. 

"I must admit, I'm a bit disappointed but honestly who wouldn't? You're very attractive and have a reputation for being a good magician. Your family is well known in the magic world. But of course, I respect your decision and understand that you can't just switch off your feelings. And I thank you for taking the trouble to even tell me in person. I enjoyed your company, I still do.  And I'm sure we will meet again. Maybe as friends." H e smiled sweetly at Merlin, relieving him of a huge weight that lay on his shoulders . The other man reacted much better than he had thought. Not that he had assumed the other man would walk away with a broken heart. Hell no! They have only been on one date after all. But at least Mordred could have been upset. Instead, he even wanted to remain friends with Merlin. 

"Oh, wait a minute. I'll get us something to celebrate." Mordred said and disappeared towards the bar. After a few moments, he came back with two champagne flutes in his hands. Wow! Wasn’t it a bit over the top to toast to the fact that Merlin only wanted to be friends with him? But okay. He wouldn’t complain, even if he didn't like Champagne. So he took the glass that Mordred handed and smiled at the other sorcerer.

"A toast to our new friendship." Mordred cheered and raised his glass.

Merlin did the same. He could drink a few sips of the bitter sparkly liquid if it made Mordred happy.

"A toast to our new friendship."  

****  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I will make up for it, I promise!

Merlin was in a very good mood when he set off home that evening. He was more than relieved that Mordred had taken the whole story so well. All day long he could not concentrate on his work, because his mind always wandered to the kiss he shared with Arthur this morning. He still couldn't believe his friend returned his feelings. It was almost like a miracle!

In the afternoon Arthur had texted him that he would bring pizza for dinner. Besides, he wanted to know how lunch with Mordred went. Merlin was happy to say that everything was perfect.

When he now came into their shared apartment, he heard Arthur working in the kitchen.

With a beating heart, he followed the promising smell of melted cheese and stopped at the kitchen door, astonishment written all over his face.  Arthur created a candlelight dinner out of the pizza. Merlin gasped for air.

"Wow, Arthur! That looks wonderful. You even made my favourite salad." Merlin said.  He loved the way the other man blushed.

"Oh, hello! I didn't hear you coming. Yeah, I know how much you like this rabbit food." Arthur grinned at him his cheeks still a little flushed. Merlin would have loved to go to him immediately and kiss him. But something held him back.

"Please have a seat." Arthur offered with a sweet smile before Merlin could think about it any further. His friend even adjusted the chair for him. It was so sweet. Merlin was overwhelmed. He really wanted to kiss the other man now. But his body remained where it was.

"Is there anything to celebrate?" Merlin asked and was surprised at the words coming out of his mouth. What was this? Of course, he knew that there was a lot to celebrate! After an eternity they had finally managed to confess their feelings to each other and Merlin had been able to settle the matter with Mordred. So nothing stood in the way of their common future. Except maybe his mother. But he'd be able to handle Hunith too. And even if not. Arthur was more important to him than anyone else.

"Of course there's something to celebrate!" Arthur laughed softly.

Merlin saw him bend down to him and was sure that Arthur wanted to kiss him. Finally, he would get to kiss this lips again. But his body twitched back, so Arthur only hit his cheek with his lips.

What the hell? Why did he do that? Merlin quickly wanted to make up for it and kiss Arthur back. But he couldn't. He wasn't able to move. Fuck! The hurt look on Arthur's face nearly killed him.

"Merlin? Is everything all right?" Arthur asked worry was written all over his face.

"Yeah, sure. Everything's fine." Merlin felt a smile forming on his lips. A smile that he didn't want there. Because there was no reason to smile and nothing was fine.

Panic rose in him. Why wasn't he in control of his body? Fuck!

Not really convinced, Arthur took his seat opposite to him.

"Okay, then enjoy dinner, Merlin," Arthur said his voice sounding much too insecure. Fuck!

"Thank you very much, Arthur. I will." Merlin's lips said without his doing.

The longer they ate in silence, the bigger the panic in him grew. Fucking hell He wanted to take Arthur's hand, he wanted to tell him that he loved him, but he wasn't able to. A terrible suspicion aroused in him. What if Mordred had bewitched him? What if he had put a control curse on him? His first reaction was to dismiss the thought as impossible. Control curses were forbidden. Mordred was a member of a distinguished family. Merlin was sure he'd never take such a risk. But then he thought about the champagne. What if Mordred had planned all this. What if he wanted to curse Merlin if he would dump him? Merlin knew enough about forbidden curses to be aware of the fact that the control curse was one of the worst. No one would know, and he wouldn't be able to help himself. Oh, God! Horror clouded his mind. The idea of how much he would hurt Arthur and that his friend might never know why caused him nausea.

Arthur cleared his throat.

"Merlin? You did break up with Mordred, didn't you?" He wanted to know his voice wasn't more than a whisper.

Merlin felt everything cramping up in him. No, please not! Please don't say it he begged his inner self, knowing that he wouldn't stand a chance. Control curses are unbreakable. And if he was under a curse he would do anything the sorcerer who did this to him wanted. And it seemed like Mordred wanted him to break up with Arthur. This wasn't fair! After all these years they just realized what they meant to each other and his next sentences would ruin everything. Merlin wanted to scream. But of course, his face stayed calm.

"Break up? No. Of course not. Listen, Mordred comes from a mighty sorcerer family. I'd be stupid to just give that up. I am sorry to hurt you Arthur, but let's be realistic. You always were a good friend and this morning was nice, but you are not what I want."

Oh God! Merlin wanted to die.

To watch Arthur's face fall was the biggest torture he could imagine. He was aching to comfort his best friend, to tell him that he didn't mean it. That of course, he broke up with Mordred, because he only loved Arthur. There would never be anybody else!

But nothing like that came out of his mouth.

With big eyes, Arthur stared at him.

"I understand. So you changed your mind. I... I can understand that Mordred is a better match and I... I'm not good enough. I never was. Hunith would never agree and. . . yeah, maybe it's better this way."

No! No! Oh, God. This was worse than anything Merlin had ever experienced. Arthur didn't suspect a thing. He took for granted that Merlin had changed his mind. Why the hell did Arthur just take it like that?   
"Thank you for understanding, Arthur. I knew you would." His mouth said and his inside died a little more. This wasn't happening. This couldn't happen!

Arthur looked at him in horror and incredibly hurt. He didn't even try to hold back the tears that made their way down his cheeks. Merlin tried once more with all his willpower to move his hands to squeeze Arthur's hand, but he had no chance. Nothing. His hand wasn't moving a bit. However, when he wanted to take the wineglass, it went without a problem. So the restriction only had to do with Arthur and their relationship.

Maybe he was somehow able to draw Arthur's attention to the curse, to explain it.  
  
_I am cursed, Mordred cursed me,_ he tried to tell Arthur.

"Don’t you think Mordred and I look cute together?" was what came out of Merlin’s mouth instead. Fucking hell! This was a nightmare! A fucking nightmare!

Arthur looked at him as if he'd gone mad. Of course he did! Merlin couldn’t blame him.

 _No, no! I am cursed! Arthur, I love you!_ He wanted to scream.   
“You don’t have to agree. I know we do.” His stupid mouth said in a cocky tone.   
This was so fucked up! How should he ever get out of this situation if he had no chance to explain it to anyone? Fuck! If he ever would have the chance to overcome this curse, Merlin would make sure Mordred would never be able to use magic again. Trapping Merlin in his own body was one thing but hurting Arthur like this was something completely else.

"Merlin, have you gone crazy? After this morning, I thought. . . fuck, Merlin. I thought you'd feel the same way I did. But apparently, I was wrong. Okay, I can understand that you've changed your mind and prefer to stay with your kind. But now you're making fun of me? Fuck you, Merlin!"  Arthur looked so sad and tired it broke Merlin's heart.

"I think… I need… I'm going to go to my room now. I think I need a little time alone." Arthur said and quickly left the room. Merlin knew he was crying cause his shoulders were shaking.

Fuck!

He wanted to cry and scream and smash everything to pieces. Mordred had hurt Arthur in the worst way possible. Arthur thought Merlin didn't want him. That he wasn't the most important thing in his life. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

What was he supposed to do now? There had to be something he could do!

Desperately he looked at the lovingly laid table. With one movement of his hand, he swept everything to the ground. Merlin was almost surprised that he was able to do so. He hated Mordred for what he did to him. Even though he had no real proof yet that it was the other sorcerer, it was the only reasonable explanation. Merlin was sure that he would have clarity very soon.

However, he was surprised that this moment came less than two minutes later when his phone was vibrating and Mordred called.

"Hello, darling. I hope you're okay."

Mordred! The asshole greeted him cheerfully and giggled.

"You know how I feel." Merlin purred lovingly although he would have loved to yell at Mordred.

"Oh, of course, I do, darling. And it fills me with infinite joy. You know, I could have just enchanted you with a love potion, but that would have been boring, don't you think? Then you would just have thought you loved me. But I wanted you to suffer. You will repulse your great love without wanting it and there will be nothing you can do about it. You can't tell anyone about the curse either. Oh, how I would love to listen to your thoughts now."

Merlin wanted to say so much, but he couldn't. Apparently, he couldn't say anything mean to Mordred either.

"Oh Merlin, we will have a wonderful long life together. I intend to marry you in our magical way, Merlin. I want to walk through the big fire with you. As soon as possible. And there's nothing you can do about it." Mordred laughed maliciously.

Merlin felt the panic rise inside him again. No one was able to break a covenant of the fire. He'd never be able to get away from Mordred.

"Enjoy your last days in Arthur's presence. Enjoy breaking his little heart. See you soon, sweetheart." Mordred said and ended the call.

Merlin couldn't explain why Mordred hated him so much that he wanted to torture him for life. Was he just crazy? Or was there more to it?

Even if he had to fight all his life, Merlin would never give up getting out of this situation and explaining everything to Arthur. Even though he might be bound to the other sorcerer until his life ended. Arthur had to know that he would always love only him.

  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Life's been a little stressful lately. I hope you enjoy the next chapter ^.^

Arthur just couldn't understand what had happened. One moment it seemed like his dreams were coming true and the next it was like he was waking up in a nightmare. How could it be that Merlin first confessed his love for him and then simply dumped him? In the same fucking day! It just didn't make any sense. Merlin could have said right away that he wasn't interested. Why for fuck's sake did he first have to give him hope and then destroy them so cruelly? It just didn't go with the Merlin he knew. Of course, Arthur realized that Mordred was the better choice for Merlin. Arthur could never give Merlin what Mordred could give him, a magical life in the upper sorcerer class.

Well, Arthur's family had money and in the human world, the Pendragons were not without influence. But in the world of magic, Arthur was no one. And of course, knew that Merlin's mother was already unhappy about their friendship. How disappointed would she be if they would become more? Arthur was sure Hunith would be thrilled about the relationship between Merlin and Mordred. And Arthur knew that Merlin loved his mother. There was every indication that the relationship between the two sorcerers was the better option for Merlin. Of course, Arthur was aware of all this, but it hurt terribly. On the other hand, Merlin was his best friend. Arthur refused to believe that he wanted to hurt him on purpose. So why did he confess his feelings to Arthur first and dump him for Mordred a few hours later? That was very unlike him.

Tired, Arthur dragged himself into the kitchen to make coffee. He hadn't slept much that night. But that was to be expected after all that had happened.

"Good morning!"

Arthur almost dropped his cup. He had thought that Merlin had already left. To say that the situation between them was strange would have been the understatement of the century. Although Merlin acted as nothing had happened. But that made everything even stranger.

"Good morning. I didn't know you were still here. Didn't you want to meet your mother and Mordred for breakfast?" Arthur had a hard time looking at Merlin.

It hurt so much. Fuck! Somehow it felt as if he had not only lost the love of his life, but also his best friend. Because Merlin was. . . he was different. Arthur wasn't able to put a finger on it, but Merlin had changed in the last few days. Of course, Arthur knew that sounded crazy. Nobody changed in a few days. But still!

"Yeah, I'm just gonna grab a cup of coffee and then I'm gonna go right ahead. Gwen said you were meeting for lunch today. Maybe you'll get back together." Merlin beamed at him. What the fuck?

Merlin couldn't possibly mean that. He knew why Gwen and he broke up. 

"No, I don't think so, Merlin." Arthur muttered through clenched teeth. This was so fucked up.  Merlin used to be so sensitive. And now he wanted him to make up with Gwen after they broke up because Arthur was in love with Merlin?  This was more than insane!

"Whatever. Mordred wants to magically bind himself to me and I said yes. The fire ceremony will take place this weekend. Of course, I'll move in with him afterwards. So you will have to search for a new roommate, sorry. But don't be alarmed. I'll pay my share of the rent until you find someone new." Merlin stated his face showing not the slightest emotion when he announced the news.

What the fuck! Merlin wanted to get married! Unbelieving, Arthur stared at his friend. 

"You... what? Merlin, you can't be serious. You've only just met this guy. Why the rush?"

Was Merlin serious? Arthur knew shockingly little about sorcerer rituals. But like everyone else, he knew that a fire ceremony was for eternity. Only death could really break this magical bond. Why would Merlin want to bind himself irrevocably to someone he's only known for about a week? That was insane!

"I think it's romantic to go through the fire with Mordred." Explained Merlin shrugging his shoulders.

Fuck! Was Merlin really so in love with the other sorcerer? Somehow it felt like Arthur was missing something important.

"You can't break this fire bond. Merlin! All the more reason to think this over thoroughly! That's crazy!" Arthur knew he was nearly shouting at Merlin.

"That's the point, Arthur. Sometimes you have to take risks. Isn't that something you always preach?" Merlin looked at him with raised eyebrows.

Yeah, that's what he always did said. And Merlin was the one who always emphasized how important it was to first consider all the possibilities.

Sceptically, Arthur looked at his friend.

"That doesn't sound like you at all, Merlin." Arthur said.

"Maybe you just don't know me as well as you always thought you did."  Merlin countered and poured himself a cup of coffee and then he took a sip of the dark liquid. 

He just drank it black. WITHOUT MILK AND SUGAR! Merlin never drank his coffee without milk and sugar. No way! Never! Arthur always teased him that Merlin really didn't like the taste of coffee when he always had to cover it with milk and lots of sugar. And now Merlin drank his coffee black without batting an eye.

"Yeah, maybe I really don't know you." Arthur whispered sadly.

Merlin just laughed and put the half-empty cup back down.

"Thanks for the coffee, Arthur. I'll see you tonight. And don't forget to look for a new roommate." Merlin said laughing and went away leaving  Arthur behind without another word. Arthur could literally hear his heart breaking. So this was it? This was how he would lose Merlin. Oh, God!

How was he going to survive without Merlin? He was the most important person in his life. And soon Merlin would create a new better life without him. Arthur was glad no one heard the pathetic sob that escaped his throat.

***

"Arthur, we both know that's impossible." Furious, Gwen looked at him.

"I'm afraid it's not." Arthur answered sadly.

"He will jump through this covenant of fire with Mordred and. . . and they will be bound till the end of his life. . . Oh God! Gwen, I lost him. I've lost him forever. Even as a friend." The thought was just unbearable.

"No, it can't be. I know Merlin loves you. He would never do such a thing! There must be a reason for all this." Gwen looked at him with determination.

Tired, Arthur shrugged his shoulders. 

"Maybe the reason is just that he came to his senses and realized I was never good enough for him."

"Bullshit!" Gwen looked furious now.

"No, it's not, Gwen. Merlin deserves the best partner he can wish for. And Mordred is. . . "

"I don't give a shit about Mordred. Something's wrong here, Arthur. Merlin would never do such a thing. And even if it sounds stupid, the coffee incident almost sounds like a cry for help to me." Gwen looked at him seriously worry was written all over her face.

"A cry for help?" Arthur had to laugh. Typical Gwen. Sometimes she was a little melodramatic.

"No, seriously, Arthur. What if this Mordred has bewitched him? You said before Merlin met with the other sorcerer, everything was fine."

Of course, Arthur had already had the same thought. However, he had quickly dismissed it. It was only his despair that made him hope so.

"Do you think so?" Arthur knew that Gwen could hear hope in his voice.

"I'm sure." Gwen answered as she took out her cell phone and started googling curses.

"Here, I got it!" She called out after a while.

"There are two curses that could be used for this. The love potion. But according to the description, I don't think it's a love potion. The love potion lasts a maximum of twenty-four hours. Then the person in question would have to be bewitched again. In addition, victims of love potions attract attention above all because they constantly talk about their beloved person." Gwen reported.

"No, Merlin's behaviour was more. . . I don't know...it was kind of insensitive. As if he wouldn't care at all." Arthur remembered.

Gwen nodded.

"Then it was a compulsion spell. Compulsive spells are strictly forbidden and. . . oh my God, Arthur. It's terrible ... The victim is trapped in his own body and cannot take any action that the perpetrator does not want or that would expose the spell." Gwen stared at him with big eyes.

"We have to prevent Merlin from jumping through this stupid fire!"

****  
  



	8. Chapter 8

"Oh my God, Arthur! You don't really think I would believe that, do you?" Visibly amused, Hunith sipped her tea. Helpless, Arthur looked at her. How could he make her understand that he had a feeling that something was wrong? Desperately he looked at Gwen who was sitting next to him on the white couch with the floral pattern. Arthur had never really felt comfortable at Merlin's home. That wasn't because his home wasn't homey. On the contrary. The small cottage was pretty. Wild roses grew in the front garden and interior was bright and very elegant.

White bookshelves covered most of the walls in the living room. Merlin had once told Arthur that most of them were about magic. Arthur would have loved to read some of them.

But he never dared to do so. He was sure Hunith would have been furious if she would have caught him.

Across from Arthur, next to Hunith sat Merlin's uncle Gaius. Arthur had actually always liked Gaius. The older man, unlike Merlin's mother, had always been friendly to him. Not that Arthur had much opportunity to talk to him very often. Merlin was at his home most of the time anyway. But Gaius never looked at him as if he wasn't welcome. Not even now. At first glance, the older magician seemed rather unaffected, but Arthur recognized the touch of a frown on his forehead. Arthur had immediately thought that Hunith would not believe him, but perhaps he would be able to convince Merlin's uncle. Gwen had insisted that they came here.

If he was honest, Arthur hadn't expected Merlin's mother to even  let them in. She never hid her feelings about him. It was clear that she thought Arthur would not be good enough for Merlin. And of course, Arthur knew she was right. He'd never be good enough for Merlin. From the first day, Arthur was surprised that the young magician wanted to be his friend. He had always waited for the other shoe to drop and for Merlin to realise that Arthur was not worth his friendship. Apparently, that time had come now.

"Boy, do you even know how crazy this sounds? Will spells are forbidden. Everybody knows that. Mordred would lose his magic and his freedom if someone would catch him. I can't imagine him risking that. Besides, a respected and handsome sorcerer like Mordred wouldn't need to force anyone to join him in the fire ceremony."

"There are certainly enough candidates who would fancy him." Gaius declared and looked at Arthur with scepticism.

Of course, Arthur knew how crazy his suspicions sounded! But couldn't Gaius see that there was at least the possibility that he was right? Damn it!

"What if we're right? What if for some reason Merlin is forced to be together with Mordred? You can't possibly want that for Merlin!" Gwen muttered angrily. You could tell she was slowly losing her patience.

"My dear child. I have no reason to believe Merlin will be forced into anything. He fell in love with a sorcerer. Thank God, he's finally come to his senses. I won't do anything to jeopardize this relationship. Why would I?"  Hunith's pinned-up hairstyle wobbled suspiciously when the sorceress stood up determinedly. Her eyes were piercing into Arthur's.

"I can imagine you don't like this, Arthur. I realized your intentions when you were children. And I always hoped I was wrong. I prayed that Merlin wouldn't fall in love with you as well. But no matter what I said, Merlin always defended you. No matter what I offered him, he never wanted to give you up. Now he's finally acting the way I always wanted him to. Mordred comes from a distinguished sorcerer family. It's an honour that he wants to be with Merlin. You can't seriously think he'd use a forbidden spell. This is ridiculous."She snorted contemptuously.

Arthur sighed. He would never be able to convince Hunith. It was probably a bad idea to come here. Merlin would be mated to a sorcerer. Maybe this was the way it should be. Hunith had waited a long time for Merlin to become more involved with sorcerers. She had to be thrilled by the development of events.

Now she finally had what she always wanted. Of course, she wouldn't help Arthur and destroy everything. And since Gaius said nothing more, Arthur was convinced that he wouldn't help either. Or that at least he didn't want to act against his sister. So this was it!

Sighing, Arthur stood up from his chair. Sadly, he looked at Hunith and Gaius.

"I see. I know you've always been against my friendship with Merlin and frankly, I can understand that. Because you're right, Hunith. I've never been good enough for Merlin. I've never met Mordred, but all I can do is hope he'll be good for Merlin. I would never stand in the way of Merlin's happiness, no matter how painful it may be for myself. But the thought. . . the idea that someone could force Merlin to do something he doesn't want and he couldn't defend himself... Doubts as to whether it really is what Merlin wanted will probably haunt me forever. Please, I will disappear completely from Merlin's life if I'm not right. But there has to be a way to check if he's under a spell? Please, I beg you..."

Arthur knew it was pathetic to beg, but the idea that Merlin could really be trapped in his own body was driving him crazy. So he had to try it one last time.

"I'm sorry, Arthur, but I can't help you. Do you know what a scandal there would be if this came out? You can't just check if Merlin is under any kind of spell. Mordred's family would be completely offended.  That's completely impossible! You have to face the truth, Arthur! Merlin found someone else. Now, if you'll excuse me, please. There is still much to prepare for the fire-ceremony."

With that, she got up and left the room without even saying goodbye.

Crap!

"I knew she would never help us." Arthur said resignation in his voice.

"Damn it! Someone has to help us!" Gwen whispered disappointedly.

But there was nothing they could do. They lost their last hope. Not only would he lose Merlin, but also any possibility of ever getting over him and going on. The thought that Merlin might really have been enchanted would haunt him forever.

"You really care for him, don't you?"

Arthur had completely missed the fact that Gaius was still in the room.

"Yes, of course, I do. Imagine your best friend changing completely within a few hours. Everyone would be worried. Look, it's not because Merlin rejected me and prefers to be with Mordred. To be honest, I can understand that. Why would he take me when he can have an exciting sorcerer? Still. I just can't get rid of the feeling that something's wrong. Merlin wouldn't tell me that he loved me in the morning and break up with me in the afternoon. That's not like him." At a loss of more words, Arthur shrugged his shoulders.

Gaius looked at him thoughtfully for a long time.

"To be honest, your description of the coffee made me think. As crazy as it sounds, Merlin would never drink his coffee without milk and sugar. He'd rather drink tea instead."

Arthur looked at Gaius in surprise. Did that mean. . . ? Did Gaius. . . did he really want to help him? Arthur tried hard not to get his hopes up.

"I will make my own preparations. There is a way to know the truth without anyone else knowing. Thank God only the oldest druids among us know about it. I am not allowed to tell you any details but I won't let my nephew enter the fire without knowing if he really wants it. But if there is no spell you have to respect his decision." Gaius explained.

Arthur nodded his head. Of course! He would do anything. Anything the druid wanted him to do. If only Gaius was willing to help him.

"But I need you there. If Merlin is really under a will spell, he will need all the physical touch from someone he loves he can get."

"Thank you, Gaius! Thank you. Thank you. You don't know how much you're helping me with this. Of course, I'll be there. What do you want me to do?" Arthur felt tears of relief running down his cheeks.

"You're not supposed to do anything. On the contrary. You shall behave as inconspicuously as possible." The old man said with a stern voice. 

Arthur was confused.

"I don't understand."

"I want you to be present on the day of the fire party. However, No one can see you. You have to wait in the parking lot at the back of the forest glade where the bonfire will be. If Merlin was really under a spell, he's gonna need you, as I told you. And if he wasn't, it's important that no one saw you. You know what I mean? You have to give me your word you'll just wait in the parking lot. Either Merlin will come to you, or not! You just stay in the parking lot until Merlin comes to you or I call you." Gaius explained and held out his hand to him. Arthur eagerly accepted it to fix the agreement.

"I give you my word, Gaius. I will not move until Merlin comes to me or... or until I hear from you."


	9. Chapter 9

The big day came sooner than Merlin wanted. The idea that he will be bound to Mordred forever in a few moments would have caused him nausea if his body would obey him. But it didn't. Helpless, his brain had to put up with all this. Although Mordred insisted they saw each other as much as possible, to Merlin's astonishment he had not imitated any physical intimacy yet. Merlin had imagined that this would change after the fire ceremony that night. He shuddered.

"I hope you're as happy as I am, Merlin. In about an hour, we'll be connected forever." Mordred said in a sweet voice and looked at him. Merlin had never hated anyone before, but he did now. Oh God! How much he hated this cruel man.

They had just arrived at the large parking lot not far from the clearing where the fire ceremony would take place. When Merlin opened the car door, he could already smell the fire. Damn it! He could still remember how excited he was as a child when he was allowed to join the campfire. This time it felt like he was going to his execution. The smell would never be the same for him again.

He was just about to get out of the car when Mordred held him back.

"Before we couple for eternity, I'd like to explain why I'm doing this. You're probably wondering what the motive for all this is."  Mordred looked at him.

"Yes, of course." Merlin heard himself answering, although he didn't really want to know. What difference would it make? His life was over. The reason didn't matter.

Mordred grinned at him. He seemed to know exactly what was going on in Merlin's head.

"There is no reason, Merlin. You were just there. I find it exciting to know that you don't want this. When we met on our first date, I didn't think of anything like that. It seemed like we were getting along, and where's the fun in that? You might have fallen in love with me anyway. You were cute. I would have fucked you a few times and then I would have broken your poor little heart. But frankly, that would have been boring. I did something like that hundreds of times already.  But when you told me about your love for your best friend and how much you have been waiting for more or less all your life to get together with him, I knew you were the perfect candidate for my little project." Mordred explained, excitement showing in his voice.

Fucking bastard! All this bastard wanted was to know that he would suffer all his life. And Arthur with him.

Fuck him! At that moment Merlin hoped he would have a long and painful death.

"You may also wonder if I'm not afraid that people might find out, that I'll get caught. But  I'm confident that won't happen. How could anyone possibly suspect that? Your family is so happy about our relationship that they would never think me untrustworthy. And even if they did. In less than an hour, we are bound and nothing, not even death can separate this connection. That thought alone would be worth it." Merlin saw the satisfaction in Mordred's eyes. 

Merlin would have loved to close his eyes to fade out the prick's face at least for a few seconds, but his body wouldn't let him.

"Let's start our new life, darling," Mordred whispered happily and got out of the car.

Merlin realized that everyone else had already arrived. Mordred's family, Hunith, Gaius. Even three of Gaius oldest friends were there greeting him with joyful faces. In Gaelic, they wished him all the best for his future together with Mordred.

Merlin knew there was no mercy for him. Mordred was right. No one would suspect anything. Hunith looked more than happy. Anyone could see how proud she was and Gaius even invited three members of the council which were one of the eldest like Gaius himself. To have more than one of the members at the ceremony was an honour, let alone four. This case was hopeless. Merlin had lost.

One of Mordred’s sisters placed the traditional flower crowns on their heads and Gaius creamed their foreheads with invigorating ceremony oils. After that, everyone took position around the campfire. Gaius and the other members of the Council took their places and began to murmur the spell of the ceremony. The presence of Gaius would have been enough to complete the ceremony but the bond would be even stronger with four of them.

Merlin felt numb inside while he certainly smiled on the outside as much as everyone.

";. . . now step into the circle of fire and seal the covenant of your eternal union." All four old men said at the same time.

Merlin's feet carried him closer to the fire together with Mordred. Barefoot they climbed over the logs directly into the fire. Merlin saw the fire around him move to the side, just as it should have been. Unchallenged, they walked hand in hand through the flames that didn't harm them.

It was about when they were in the middle of the fire when Merlin noticed that the elders raised their hands in the air and whispered something. Merlin had never watched a fire ceremony before and therefore he wasn't worried. But he heard the other guests mumble. Mordred also seemed to notice that something was wrong and looked around. When he discovered the green ball of light floating over the fire, Merlin saw the other man panicking.

He tried to drag Merlin with him so that they would get through the fire faster to complete the ceremony. But they didn't get far. After only a few seconds, Mordred was thrown into the air completely enveloped in the green light. Then Merlin heard a loud bang and he felt that he was back in control of his body. He looked around with wild eyes and ran out of the fire.

"I didn't mean it. Mordred made me do it. I didn't want this ceremony. . . I didn't ... please...." He cried and looked at all the shocked faces.

The three elders still trapped Mordred in the green light in the air as Gaius approached Merlin to calm him.

"I know my boy. Your friend convinced me that something was wrong and I made sure no one would force you to bond." His uncle explained with a soft voice while he pat his shoulder.

"Arthur?"; Merlin wanted to know.

Oh, God! Loyal beloved Arthur. He had saved him from a terrible fate. Not just that. Apparently, he hadn't stopped believing in Merlin either. Merlin had never loved the other man more.

"I have to see him. Gaius, I need to see Arthur."

Merlin wanted to run to the parking lot. Although that was absurd because he had come with Mordred and the car keys were still caught in the green light together with the man himself.

"Can you take me to him? Please, Gaius!" he begged.

"Calm down boy. Arthur is here. He's waiting at the parking lot on the other side. He. . . "

Merlin didn't wait until Gaius had finished his sentence. He ran past all the guests who had been horrified to see what had happened, to the other parking lot where Arthur was waiting for him.

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

If there was something Arthur was really bad at, it was patiently waiting. There was nothing worse for him than just sitting around helplessly and doing nothing. Restless, he remained in his car in the parking lot at the backside of the forest and tried to keep his promise to stay there until he either got a call from Gaius or Merlin would show up. He tried not to think about the possibility that it wasn't a curse and Merlin really wanted this ceremony.

Gwen tried to convince him that this was not how Merlin would have handled things, but Arthur was still insecure. Why would someone like Merlin want a nobody like Arthur who was just a human? Nervously Arthur drummed his fingers onto the steering wheel. Time passed infinitely slowly. When he looked at the clock, he noticed that not even ten minutes had passed since he had arrived in the parking lot. Fuck! He hated waiting! Restlessly he turned on the radio hoping that music would distract him a little bit. But the music even made it worse. Arthur felt like he might be missing something. So he turned off the radio with a sigh and opened the car window instead.

The heavy smell of campfire immediately reached his nose. Actually, it was a pleasant smell, but at the moment Arthur almost got sick of it. He looked around the parking lot. It wasn't a surprise that it was completely empty,  because the bigger parking lot was on the other side of the forest. And at that time there were certainly no hikers. It was dark outside because there were no streetlights. It was dark outside only the full moon illuminated the area.

Under other circumstances, Arthur would have found it romantic, but at the moment he had no sense for romance. Too deep was the fear of losing Merlin.

All of a sudden he saw a green glow above the forest. Arthur was sure it had something to do with the ceremony. He had no idea what it meant, though. Was it a good or a bad sign? Waiting became more and more unbearable with every passing minute.

A few moments later he heard a loud bang. Arthur was sure that such a loud noise could not be part of a ceremony similar to marriage. Although, of course, he couldn't be sure. Nevertheless, he suddenly felt hope rise in him. Oh, God, maybe everything would be all right.

Arthur couldn't take it to sit in the car anymore, so he opened the door and got out. Anxious he started to walk up and down in front of the car.

"Please! Please let Merlin come here." he prayed in silence.

For a few minutes, nothing happened and his hope began to sink again. At some point, Arthur was almost certain that his phone would start ringing at any moment and Gaius would tell him that the ceremony was over. That Merlin was happily bonded to Mordred now. But that didn't happen either.

And then he saw it. The dark figure who came running out of the forest.

"Merlin!" Arthur yelled. He couldn't believe it. Merlin! His Merlin came running towards him!

Sobbing Merlin closed Arthur in a full-body embrace burrowing his face in Arthurs' neck when he finally reached him.

“I am sorry, I am sorry.” He whispered repeatedly. He was shaking all over and it seemed that he wasn’t able to stop it.

“Hey, It’s all right. It wasn’t your fault.” Arthur tried to calm him hugging the other man even tighter.  Arthur brushed his fingers through Merlin's hair to give him as much physical comfort as possible while he didn’t stop whispering into Merlin's ear.

“It’s ok. It’s over now. I’ve got you.” 

Merlin didn’t respond at first. He just clutched to Arthur like a drowning man and continued to say that he was sorry. Arthur never hated anyone as much as he hated the man that did this to Merlin. He hoped that Mordred's fate would be even harsher than Merlins would have been if Gaius hadn't helped them.

Arthur wasn't sure how much time passed until Merlin finally calmed down and his trembling stopped.

Slowly he withdrew himself from Arthur to look at him.

"I can't believe you didn't give up on me after all the horrible things I said to you." Merlin murmured.  Arthur noticed how guilty Merlin felt.

"Merlin, it wasn't you who said these things to me. It was Mordred. He forced you. But... but I have to admit, that at first, I was sure you were serious about everything. After all, he is a sorcerer and  I am only ..."

"Arthur! Stop it! How many times do I have to tell you I don't care if you're human or magical. I love you! I love you so much!" Merlin said in a stern voice and took Arthur's face between his hands. Then he kissed him and Arthur felt tears of relief running down his cheeks as he returned the kiss with all the feelings that were locked up inside of him the last few days. Merlin was here! In his arms! And he wanted him, not some fancy sorcerer.  Merlin wanted Arthur. An indescribable feeling of happiness spread through him.

Arthur didn't know how much time had passed while Merlin didn't stop kissing him and holding him tight and Arthur wouldn't have been able to let go of the other man either. Finally, they heard someone clearing their throat.

Merlin unwillingly let Arthurs' lips go to look who interrupted them.

It was Gaius.

He had a small brown bag in his hands, which he now held towards them.

"It would be good if you didn't leave Merlin's side in the next two weeks, Arthur. Not even at night. Merlin needs physical contact to get over this terrible experience. Here I also have a mixture of herbs that you should serve Merlin three times a day like a tea. The drink will help him to process everything a little bit faster."  Gaius ordered.

Arthur nodded and took the package.

"Of course!" He agreed. He would take two weeks off of work. Even for longer if Merlin needed more time.

"Good. I'll contact you in the next few days. Merlin has to choose Mordred's punishment." Gaius said.

"Merlin has to choose? Wow!" Arthur wasn't to decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing that the victim had to choose the punishment.

"That's the law. But there's enough time for Merlin to think about it." Gaius explained.

Sorcerer laws were weird in Arthur's eyes.

"What if he chooses his punishment should be to take his life?" Arthur wanted to know.

"Then we will kill him." Gaius said calmly.

"I am not sure if it is a good idea to let the victim choose..." Arthur murmured to himself but he knew that Gaius must have heard it.

"I know it must sound strange to a human but believe me when I tell you every sorcerer will choose right, And so will Merlin."

Gaius answered and turned away to go back to the others but Merlin held him back.

"Thank you. Thank you for saving me, Uncle Gaius. I... I thought that you and Mom were so happy that I would bond with a sorcerer that. . . " Merlin wasn't able to finish the sentence.

"To be honest, I've had concerns from the beginning. Even if Hunith and I would have loved for you to bond with a sorcerer it was very unlikely. I knew for a very long time how you feel boy. When Arthur visited us and asked for help, it was clear that I at least had to check if everything was okay. I couldn't leave you to such a fate."; Gaius smiled at his nephew.

"Now you should head home and rest. I am sure you both had a hard time."

****  
  



	11. Chapter 11

„Oh God, Merlin. We have to stop!“ Arthur moaned when Merlin ground their groins together. 

But Merlin didn’t want to stop! Not again! Merlin wanted more and this time he would prevent Arthur from ending their makeout session before it got too hot. Determined, he climbed into Arthur’s lap and began to press one hand against Arthur’s bulge, while his other hand slipped under Arthur’s t-shirt and started stroking the skin from his flat stomach up to his nipples. Fascinated, he watched his friend falling apart beneath him.

“Oh fuck! Merlin. I…” Arthur’s voice was rough and his hands clung almost desperately to Merlin’s hips.

It was incredible how good it felt to touch Arthur. Merlin hadn’t taken it seriously at first when Gaius said he would need at least two weeks of psychical contact with Arthur. But boy, did he need it. It was hard for him to let Arthur take a shower alone, not to mention the one time when Arthur just wanted to buy some groceries. Arthur had to return to a trembling Merlin without the groceries after ten minutes. 

Arthur didn’t stop cursing himself loudly for his stupidity. 

“How can I be so stupid and leave you alone? Gaius clearly said you needed me. Fuck! Merlin, I am so sorry.” He said with a broken voice. 

After that Arthur was very careful that he always was touching Merlin and Gwen did the grocery shopping for them. Merlin was very grateful.

The days were now filled with cuddling in front of the TV or cuddling in Arthur’s bed. After a few days, they also walked hand in hand to the park, and after a week they made it to the pizzeria at the end of the street. Arthur made sure their legs were intertwined when they needed their hands. Arthur took good care of Merlin. He made sure Merlin drank the tea Gaius gave them and he helped Merlin to think of something else by employing Merlin or simply being there for him. They often talked long into the night but they never talked about what exactly had happened between Merlin and Mordred. Merlin just wasn’t ready to talk about how helpless and anxious he felt. And Arthur accepted that. He knew Merlin would talk about it eventually.

Merlin could feel himself getting better every day. This was partly due to Gaius' tea, of course, but above all, it was due to Arthur, who helped him to get his life back bit by bit. Although Merlin knew that he would remember the horrible incident forever. At least once in the night, he woke up bathed in sweat with the feeling that he couldn’t breathe. He dreamed that he was bound to Mordred forever. It was terrifying. But Arthur was always there to comfort him. Merlin knew he might need therapy, but he didn’t want to think about it for the time being. These first two weeks were there to tie him back to reality. And he needed an anchor for that. In his case, of course, the anchor was Arthur. 

After the two weeks, he would dare to take his own steps again and work through the whole thing but now he wanted to focus on Arthur and making him fall apart. Already towards the end of the first week, he felt that he wanted more. Maybe he didn’t want to go all the way yet, but he definitely wanted more than just kissing. But Arthur stopped them every time. Whenever it got too hot, he would retire. He never ended the physical contact completely, but he always brought distance between them. It sucked! And if Merlin was honest, it was hurting him more and more.

 “Merlin, you have to stop. I don’t know how much longer I can control myself.” Arthur moaned when Merlin started to suck hickeys into his neck.

"I don't want you to control yourself!" Merlin answered. Why would he want that for fuck's sake?

 „I… I don’t want to force you….“

Force him? Merlin stopped all his actions.

Arthur whined gaping at him with hooded eyes.

"Arthur! I am sitting on your lap, groping  _ your  _ dick, sucking  _ your  _ neck. Why the heck are you thinking you would force  _ me  _ to do anything? From where I am standing it could be quite the opposite.” Merlin stated.

“What? No! It’s just… Merlin, I know you’re not ready to talk about all the bad things Mordred did to you, and that’s okay. Really, but I don’t want to… we should take our time to… I don’t want you to regret it when we…” Arthur was biting his lips. Merlin could see he was nervous.

 And suddenly he understood what Arthur was getting at.

“Arthur, nothing happened. I admit that it will take a long time for me to work through all this shit and it would certainly be wise to seek professional help for this, but believe me, despite everything Mordred did to me, he did not rape me. I am sure that would have been his goal after the ceremony, but I was lucky you saved me. You, Gwen and Gaius made sure this wouldn’t happen.”   
Oh God! Poor Arthur! All those past days he thought Merlin has been raped. That was the reason why he never wanted to take it further. 

Arthur looked at him with big wet eyes, relief written all over his face.

 “He didn't…? Oh, God. He didn’t… I am so happy.” Arthur sobbed and hugged Merlin very tight. Merlin melted into the embrace. Both of them were crying now.

“He... he just wanted me to bond with him and make me stay away from you as much as possible. He… he was getting off by the idea of breaking our hearts, of knowing that I only wanted you and had to take him, that no matter what would happen I would be his. Even if he died. That was what he wanted.” Merlin whispered into Arthur’s neck. 

“Sick bastard!” Arthur growled. “I hope whatever your punishment for him will be is at least as cruel.”

Merlin shrugged his shoulders and kissed away the tears on Arthur’s cheeks.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I want to live with the knowledge that someone is suffering because of me. Even someone like Mordred who certainly deserved it.” Merlin explained slowly.

“What are you up to?”Arthur asked astonished.

 “I want them to take his magic away and his memories. I want them to give him some other new memories. Nothing bad. Just something else. And I want him to have an insatiable desire to help other people. That’s all.” Merlin explained.

He’d been thinking this through the last few days. He was certain that humanity was served more by a helping Mordred than by one who was in prison or even killed. Merlin also did it for Mordred’s family. For sure it was easier to say goodbye to a son or brother if you could at least have the hope that he could still have a meaningful life. It had to be hard enough for them. Although Merlin was sure that they didn’t approve of what Mordred had done, they loved him anyway.

Arthur stared at Merlin.

“You’re the most incredible person I know, Merlin and even though I don't know what I have done to deserve you. I am grateful and I love you. I love you more than anything else!” Arthur said and kissed Merlin with all the passion he held back before.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, wow. I am done! Thank you so much for reading my first Merthur fanfiction. I really enjoyed writing this!!!

"Arthur! I am glad you were able to join us today. I know I wasn't always nice to you. And I want to apologize. For some very stupid reason, I always thought that only another sorcerer would be good enough for my son. Now I know how wrong I was. If it hadn't been for you and Gwen. . . I don't want to think about what would have happened. I hope you can forgive me for being so blinded for years." Hunith said while she was pouring Arthur some tea.

All these years he's known Merlin, he's only been here a few times. And only if Merlin was quite sure that Hunith and Gaius were not home.

And Arthur certainly had never been invited to Merlin's birthday party. That was also the reason why Merlin and he could never celebrate on Merlin's birthday, but always one day later. So it was a premiere that he now sat in Hunith's living room with Merlin on February 2nd watching his best friend blowing out the candles. When Arthur was younger, he had always imagined the birthday party his best friend would have to be magical. With floating candles and enchanted gifts. Merlin had laughed so hard when Arthur had told him about it. Chuckling, he had asked Arthur if he truly believed that his mother would do any childish tricks for him. And no, of course, Arthur didn't believe she would. For Hunith, sorcery was the most serious thing in the world. But at least she had a birthday cake baked for her son on which even candles were stuck and he got him gifts as well. It wasn't as exciting as in Arthur's childish imagination, but Merlin seemed to be happy with it. So everything was fine.

Hunith had contacted Arthur about three weeks after the incident. She had suddenly appeared in his office and Arthur could not decide whether he should be shocked or just surprised. Although he was sure that she was glad and grateful that Merlin was not forced into a relationship he never wanted, Arthur was still the same.  He was still only human and that would never change. It surprised him all the more that she wanted to invite him to Merlin's birthday party. Arthur suspected that Merlin had informed her that he wanted to spend his birthday with Arthur and that they had to postpone their family celebration until the next day. Of course, she wouldn't have liked it, because birthday was something very important for magicians. Not only because you were born that day. But the day a baby saw the light of day was also the day it was given its name. The name was given to babies of sorcerers in a small ritual when they were still in the labour room and since words naturally played an important role in the magical world, this was an important day. The day was therefore not called birthday, but naming day in the magical world.

"You know, Arthur, it's taken me a long time to understand that Merlin and you are meant for each other. And my refusal to understand almost led to a tragedy, so I wanted you to be here today. Not only on this human side of our celebration, which has always been so important to Merlin. You must know that birthday cakes with candles and gifts are not part of our tradition. But Merlin has been invited to your birthday parties when you were children and has since insisted that we do it the same way. In the meantime, it has become a beloved tradition that I would not want to miss. However, the magical event takes place afterwards in the ceremonial room. And this year I would like to ask you to join us as we renew and strengthen Merlin's magic as we do every year on this day."

What? Hunith wanted him to attend a magical ceremony? The way Merlin held his breath in surprise, Arthur realized that his boyfriend was taken by surprise too. Arthur didn't know what to say. Of course, he did want to join them. He wanted everything that included Merlin.

Overwhelmed and speechless, he just nodded.

Hunith smiled at him. She really smiled at him! 

"Good. But now let's cut the cake and unpack the presents."

Merlin reached for Arthur's hand under the table. He seemed to notice how overwhelmed Arthur felt.

When he looked at his boyfriend, Arthur noticed that they both had tears in their eyes.

Hunith handed out the pieces of the mouth-watering chocolate cake and urged Merlin to unpack the presents.

Smiling, Merlin started to tear away the wrapping paper. Whoever took the trouble to wrap up everything so beautifully would have been shocked. Hunith gave her son some very human things like a new toaster (why would they need a new toaster?) and a pretty blue scarf. Gaius gave him herbs and ointments. When everything was unpacked and Merlin had put the torn wrapping paper away, Hunith suddenly had a small parcel in her hands.

"Merlin, I know how important human traditions are to you and therefore I wanted you to have all the gifts you just unwrapped, but what I wanted to give you the most was this." She gave him the small package. It wasn't as artfully wrapped as all the other things and so Arthur suspected that she had wrapped it herself. He was impressed. It had to be really important to her.

This time Merlin proceeded cautiously. Almost as if he had the same thought. It was a small dark red box and Merlin gasped before he even opened it. Apparently, he knew what was in the box.

"Mom!"; he whispered when he opened it.

Inside the box was a beautiful simple chain with an amulet that reminded Arthur of a tree of life. A tree of life with roots and a small green gemstone in the middle. It was beautiful! Merlin got up and went around the table to his mother and hugged her.

"Thank you, Mom! Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me." He whispered into her neck with a broken voice.

 Whatever it was, Arthur was sure that the chain was magical.

"Yes, I know, my boy. Now I know. I would like to say I think I have a very clear idea of how much this means to you." Hunith answered and caressed Merlin's head.

"But now enough of all this sentimental stuff. Pack it all up, will you? We should slowly go into the Ceremonial Hall and begin the actual celebration." She ordered in a harsh tone. If Arthur hadn't seen that she had to wipe away her tears, he might have thought that this human part of Merlin's birthday meant nothing to her. But they all knew it wasn't like that.

Merlin broke away from his mother and gave her another kiss on the cheek. Then he came back to Arthur. His eyes shone so incredibly, Arthur couldn't look away.

Gaius cleared his throat. "I would suggest you explain the meaning of the chain to Arthur when you get back home. Don't you think so, boy?”

Merlin laughed briefly. "Yes, you're right Uncle Gaius."

Arthur was a little surprised that Merlin didn't immediately put the chain around his neck because it seemed to mean so much to him. He was very excited to hear all about the beautiful amulet.

The ceremony was exactly how Arthur had imagined it. There was a lot of smoke and candlelight and spells. And all the time Merlin beamed as if he were the happiest man on earth.

They didn't talk much on their way home. Hunith had them promise to visit her for dinner on Sunday. As beautiful as the new situation was, Arthur first had to get used to the fact that Merlin's mother no longer hated him. It was a bit overwhelming.

Arriving home, they placed the new toaster in the kitchen right next to the old one, stowed the other presents and then dropped onto the couch. Merlin immediately cuddled up to Arthur and Arthur loved how normal it had become for them to show their affection.

"That was nice," Arthur said after a while. "Ever since I met you, I've wanted to attend a magical ceremony. I never thought Hunith would let me, though."

Merlin only hummed.

"Do you want to explain to me what the necklace is all about? I'm honestly confused you didn't put it on right away. Is it some kind of talisman?"; Arthur wanted to know.

Merlin sat up and moved a bit away from Arthur.

"Yes and no," Merlin replied while he reached into his pocket and took out the little red box. He was suddenly very nervous. And Arthur wondered what the ominous chain was all about.

"It's a gràdh amulet," Merlin explained and cleared his throat.

"Gràdh? Just like the Gaelic word for love?" Arthur wanted to know and slowly he figured why Merlin hadn't immediately put the chain around his neck. His heart started to beat uncontrollably fast. Could it be that...?

"This chain has been in my family for centuries and is always passed on to the oldest child when. . . " Merlin cleared his throat once again. "So my mother once gave it to my father and when he died, she took it back to give it to me when I choose a mate. But since I'm not with a magician like she always wanted me to be, I didn't think she'd give it to me."  Merlin whispered and took the beautiful chain out of the box.

Oh, Jesus, was this something like a chain that united couples. Arthur had heard of it.

"This necklace will not chain us together forever, as the fire ritual would. Unfortunately, it is not possible to be bound like this to a human, although I would do that immediately Arthur. Believe me. But the amulet marks you in the entire magical world as my mate. Everyone would know you were mine and I was yours. If you even want to. . . "

"Yes! Oh, my God, yes! Of course I do! I want everything with you, Merlin. You're the love of my life." Arthur interrupted his boyfriend and kissed him passionately.

He couldn't believe Hunith let that happen. Everyone in the magical world would know that Merlin had chosen him, a human.

"Before I put that chain on you, I want you to know it's not just a sign. The amulet also has some magical properties." Merlin revealed.

Of course, it did. How could it be otherwise? Arthur laughed.

"Okay. What can I do with it?" Arthur wanted to know.

"No, you can't do anything with it. Not directly, anyway. But it protects you and it warns me if you're in danger. Besides, it gives you the right to participate in all the magical events that I am going to attend."

"Wow, is that supposed to scare me off? Merlin, this is like my biggest dream come true. Give me that thing. I really really want to wear your necklace." Arthur confirmed enthusiastically.

Merlin laughed and put the chain around Arthur's neck.

"To the magic world, you are now officially my mate," Merlin said in a husky voice.

"I love you, Merlin. And I can't believe everyone's allowed to know that now." Arthur whispered and kissed Merlin tenderly.

"I love you too, Arthur. More than anything else in the world. I don't know how long you have to be together until it's appropriate to pop the question, but as soon as that time comes I want to go the human way as well, you know. I want not only the magical world to know that you belong to me, but everyone else as well." Merlin said and wow! Did he just ask Arthur to marry him?

"Was that. . . Did you just propose?" Arthur's heart began to pound; Merlin looked at him in surprise.

"What? No! Of course, I didn't. I was just suggesting that you should propose to me when the time is right. After all, you are the human in this relationship. I have absolutely no idea how and when it would be appropriate to do it." Merlin explained.

Oh, Lord! Merlin was incredible.

"When the time comes, huh? Okay, I'll keep that in mind." Arthur answered and climbed into Merlin's lap. 

There was so much else he wanted to discuss with Merlin. For example, he wanted to know whether they could visit the black cat together now. But all this had to wait. After all, this whole gràdh amulet thing was something like a magical marriage and every marriage needed a wedding night, didn't it. Arthur would do his fucking best to make it magical.

 


End file.
